I need help ASAP
2020.11.23 19:20 MasterOfCreepers I need help ASAP
My girlfriend that has been dealing with depression and anxiety broke up with me cos she needs to find herself again.I respect that but i care so much for her and im afraid that she will commit suicide as she said in the past that she wants to die and that her life is shit and garbagge etc. She only had me and 2 more frineds but she couldnt see none of us cos she cant go out of her house becasue of her anxiety attacks.We had been dating for 1 year and her parents really liked me.She sees a psychologist and she said she feels free now that we broke up(we did 1 week break).I will leave for college and i really need to know that she will be fine.Her parents are not home for most of the day and im really scared she may do the unthinkable.Should i message her mother about my fear? My ex will block me on social media as well but i just need to know she will be ok cos i still care about her . How can i prevent it if she doesnt want to communicate?
I feel helpless and i would be devastated if sh did something bad.
PS: Im 100 sure the reason she wanted to break up is cos she needed to find herself again and the relationship was a weight for her and i totally respect that.
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2020.11.05 02:23 newExperience2020 I have no idea why I post here
I have never thought ght I will post here. I do want to live and I enjoy life, but sometimes( all the ttimes) I think I don't know anything. I don't know myself and I don't have any idea what should I do. It feels like like is passing by and I'm not moving on.
Some context: Everyone would say that I should be happy. I'm 23 years old, I have a very good job in the field i studiend and I live byon my own. I can afford anything wihout being afraid that I cannot pay bills, ent or food. And I do enjoy my job. I have a group of good frined and I spend every weekend(almost) with friends or family... but the truth is I'm not ok.
Problems: --> I go to a psychologist evey week and it's depressing. It seems like I don't make any progress at all --> It's been over 3 years since my last date... and I feel I'm not good enough to go on dates.
---> I work a lot and I don't really enjoy life. My day is: JOB + GYM/shopping + 2hrs tv = nothing ---> Sometimes I feel like starting a completly new life in the ohter part of the world and other times... I just want to lay in my bad all day --> I'm obese and despite the fact that I eat healty and exercise... It will take years to look like a normal human being --> I have never had sex and I'm very afraid of doing that... I think it's more the fact that I don't want to be a disappointment...
I don't want to die and I don't think I would ever do sometihing like that because I'm too afraid... but... nothing. I just wanted to write it down :)
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2020.10.18 11:20 OpenMathematician796 I'm feel betrayed and I'm sad....
What a complicated 3 years its been with her. Long distnace. she's in australia. breif stint as online lovers, then just friends while i remained attraction and unrequited love which is shot down by her every time its mentioned. Yet, we talk for hours and have deep discussions about life, the world, everything. She decided yesterday that our friendship is over. that she's "cutting me out of her life". yet she still is calling MY BEST FRIEND? who i intorduced to her? i talked to him tonight, he's a therapist. I expressed my hurt and pain. Her and I have great times talking, and occasionally we have arguments or issues. sometimes I ignore her for 2 or 3 days. IT's my own issues of hiding away and stuff. I get that. but now she's cutting me off forever. It feels awful. please dont tell me what i did wrong or whatever, I don't need tha tnow. I know i did wrong. she's done wrong too. it just hurts. I tell myself to just take it in stride, and just leave her alone. Send her a polite message wishing her will. and I do. but then Im back to sitting alone in my aparment, missing the only person I have actual conversations with. so i send her a bunch of messages knowing shes online and not reading them. my best friend said when seh called ihm today, she cried. he said she loves me. I dont know why someone who loves me would cut me out when I need friends the most. We have great amazing conversations 80% of the time. Sometimes, on a given day an issue comes up. apparently she doesnt need the "stress" of our friendship in her life. IT just hurts man. I'm young, funny, attractive, smart, a good friend. I can meet new people . just signed up for dating apps. but I go to college in a new town where I don't know anyone. She was all I had. beside my best frined. It hurts. She gets online and doesn't click. Says she's tired of things going south but they're usually north. Weve had things like this in the past but this one is serious and it hurts more than anything......
just sitting here. knowing i shouldn't have messaged her, but I did. she's ignoring it. like talking to a brick wall you once loved.
submitted by OpenMathematician796
to offmychest [link] [comments]
2020.09.15 00:20 sunflower-lady995 Am i single because Im too picky?
Im 25 years old and have only had one relationship that lasted 7 months this past year. it took me FOREVER to find a boyfriend after going on 10 billion tindebumble dates. I would defintely say Im attractive, my guy frineds tell me im a solid 8 and I can pull 9s and 10s and honestly majority of the guys i go on dates with are really attractive and I can get sex from them no problem but getting them commit is a whole different story( i dont put out right away). It just feels like all these guys just want me for sex and thats it which is obvious. I have rejected some really nice guys who really like me that im simply not into, but I cant force it if im not into them. my friends all tell that im extremly picky and its hurting me more then i realize.
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2020.09.10 21:26 JellyFish1993 This month marks 3 years I need to rant and reflect
TW suicide misscarrage
I am at peace with the past in the sense i can not change it directly I can only control my reactions and build the future but fuck me this week has been hard we originally planned to come home in April giving me 6 months to process with out date trauma but covid happened and i as much as i knew this would be hard knowbody can prepare you for how hard especially when people are still rooting for you to fail
September is a busy month for me mentally I have a weird thing about dates and anniversaries and I'm realising more and more now we are back in the triggering settings with triggering people I still have not processed it fully in the sense that i have never written it all down said it all out load or told any one person all of my side of the story in one go maybe that's okay maybe i just need to untangle my thoughts I don't expect anyone to read it all this is more of a therapeutic exercise pre trying to talk to WS.
6th was Dday 1it started because we had a holiday planed with my family and he asked to not go I often wonder how life would have played out if i just said okay and filed for divorce and stayed in the dark like i had planned to do. I knew I knew for months did i really need awnsers. From the awnsers i got i decided to leave he was in the fog still saying he loved her and i was mean and all the usual affair crap I saw no point. But when i went to bed demanding he slept on the sofa I woke up to him cuddled in and I couldn't move his arms still felt safe
7th I down loaded tinder set for revenge to even the score and even after months of being treated like crap I couldn't do it I also remembered why i got married early dateing is horrible meeting new people is scary. I got as far as going for a walk with intent to meet a guy but my feet diditn stop when i arrived when he got home from work with her he still hadn't ended it he had told her i knew again i him asked to sleep on the sofa again he snuck in to cuddle up and still his arms felt safe and calming
8th I tried to die and ended up in the hospital i was done I spoke to frineds and fmaily hinting that i think hes cheating reactions where mixed from gaslighting disbelief and blaming me to righteous rage it was clear i wasnt going to get the support i thought i would he didnt come home after work I assumed he was with her when AP rang it was clear whats was going to happen she told me how she loved him she was sorry but its all love it was nothing to do with me it was an accident they are soul mates and before the phone call ended i made a decision i rang a friend to talk as "i feel to sleep" my friend rang an ambulance after an hour of my cry babbling and vomiting
9th I found out i was pregnant they asked me if i knew was that why i overdosed was my husband hurting me the temptation to say yes to hurt him was unreal but that news shifted my whole mind set i was warned that my heart rate had been so high for so long things may not stick so avoid stress but i was mostly out the woods stay or go it would work out if my freinds can be teen single mums this will be easy hes the one that loses out not me with that i decided to try and reconcile if only to offer a better co parenting situation if only to fuck with their relationship I didnt think we would get passed christmas I didn't tell him tho i refused to be that manipulative but i told him reconciliation was on the table and planed to tell him once confirmed in a few weeks time preferably after he had made his mind up stay or go.
10th i went to visit a friend to give him space to figure out what he wants he broke it off with her over the phone with int he hour of me leaving after putting reconciliation on the table he took the day off to start the process with me told his boss the full story swaped shifts to avoid her told core friends I left for the train happy and started wondering how am i going to tell him Ap contacted me again trying to be nice asking how i was where he was as she hadnt heard from him things escalated after he rang her she didn't belive he was actually leaving her and i had offered to reconcile that quickly turned to insults when i confirmed what he said was the truth i had bigger things to thing about in the end i stoped replying and let her stew like she had for me
11th was dday 2 I spent the day with my friend exploring the city discussing nearly everything that had been disclosed hiding the obvious elephant in the room she was very confused why i was so happy while talking about it all she threatened to have me committed for being so happy. later that night i faked drinking topping up her glass with mine every time she left the room it was a fun game and then it happen Aps name flashes on my phone with an essay and photos and videos and as a read it became clear that everything he said was a lie i remember i felt my heartbeat in my teeth and i shook with rage i forwarded him her massage. it contained details of her pregnancy "miscarriage" him planing to run off with her photos of them together in bed sexual photos videos details about specific times they fucked in my bed how she left her underwear for me to find when i want on holiday how she cuddled up with him my pet rabbit naked on my sofa and talk of a future together kids marriage holidays retirement with my wedding photos on the walls and his ring still on his finger. signs the pregnancy was over happened before i finished reading the message i always thought i would cry scream anything I just cleaned my self up and got drunk didn't say a thing my friend had no clue
12th i went home i planned to get off the train slap him and get on the train to go to my parents .... instead i hugged him and cried we didn't talk about any thing for hours and it took months to even start talking about it much in detail i did tell him everything and i think he has told me everything but with in weeks i decided i was leaving the house and taking back control of my life and he could go with me or go to hell and the rest is history
it was hard but a week ago i felt okay ... we had worked through it all in detail over and over chipping away at the mountin of things to work through I was at peace things where good
today i am going in circles over and over wishing i had left or not come back or just done any thing differently to the point i feel sick and the thought of food makes me violently ill the last 7 years of my life replaying in my head circling from blmaing my self to blaming her to blaming him
the triggers are winning this week but now i feel less tangled less trapped writing and re reading this has taken days not even sure why i have clearly skipped proof reading not sure why i even feel the need to write and post this maybe i just want my truth out in the world i just need my story to lose its power over me for it all not to be trapped in my head
any way off to cry with WS and finally start work on the baggage we left behind :)
submitted by JellyFish1993
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2020.08.06 15:36 TheAngryBiGirl Kalvin Gurreh made a video implying he doesn't believe sex-al vilonce is "real violence". an angry letter from a survivor (TW, sexual violence, corr-ctive r*pe)
You are my only voice and my only hope to reach a trans Youtuber Kalvin Gurreh with over millons of views and 300K sub. I give you permissen and ask you to share my story on your social media so it would reach and make a change.
This is the only post I would make in my life knowing it would not change a thing, but as a victim I feel my voice has been stolen for the second time in my life after understanding the person who took my childhood away won't face any hurm for this.
I'm writing this while I'm shiviring with anger, frustration and horribe emotions.
In his new video "My opinions have change" In this video he says the sentence "Asexuals aren't beat up for their asexuality so they don't face any REAL violence."
He is right about asexuals not facing PHYSICAL violence, BUT asexuals have the WORST statistics among ALL of us of se-ual violence. they are numaber 1 in this community in corrective r-pe, and if you exclude them or not from the community-
That's your opinion. IDC.
But to say they don't expirince violence is to discredite survivors like ME.
I'm ace, bi, and closeted.
When I just 11 years old, my "frineds" sneak into my bathroom stall and filmed me naked. they posted me body all over school, my right to my own body was taken from me, all of this just to show the boys that I'm "not a saint" in their words, just for the sin of me being a girl that wasn't intersted in boys or sex, they stole my right to my own body when I was just 11 years old. I'm litearly crying writing this knowing there will be no justice for me, espcially not in my middle eastern country, and Kelvin posts false info that would make sure I would never even have the chance for justice.
My school was a privete realigious school, they shut the whole thing up and scared me not to tell to my parents (whom, I couldn't tell, beacuse my litlle sister was in a hospital at that time, she was hurt in the war before than but it's OK, she is healthy and alive now. but at that time I was alone) my school "confronted" with my classroom about the naked photos they posted of me, and they blamed me for everything.
everyone was mad at me for "lying" I don't want to date boys. saying I desereved all of that.
all of this for the sin of being a girl that wasn't attracted to boys. for being ace.
this is just one case. I can get into the asul-t but it's way too dark for this subreedit and it inludes anxity attacks so I won't mention it.
Kelvin said that asexuals don't expirince violence, while we suffer from sex-al violence.
IDC if you don't see asexuals as LGBT, that's your opinion, but to say that.. I didn't expirince violence for my asexuality... I can't.. I'm shaking... crying...
To say something like that...with all the sex-ual violence that people forced on me when I was just a child for the sin of being a girl that didn't feel any attraction to boys...
I can't... I'm crying..
I know this post wouldn't make any diffrence, I wanted to make a Youtube video so much, but in my country I'm a sexual disorder, and my family supports conversion threapy so I don't have a voice like Kelvin.. My only way to ask for your help is in this reddit post, there is no community to be there for me in my country,
I don't know even what to say anymore... it's not even "exclution" at this point... he was litearly denying the thing I kept inside for over 10 years out of pure shame.. and denaying it existing...
This is the only post I would make.
Thank you for listening.
I wish I was born in your country, to an open family.. I wish sometimes I wasn't born this way.
But the only wish I can give you is to spread awarness. asexuals still expirince sexual violence for this lack of attraction... We are still pushed to give the right to our bodies to someone else, even if we feel no attraction and can't many times enjoy the act. to say that we expirince no violence is to mock what I have been through as a little girl that didn't even understand what they did when they took the right to her body.
I'm sorry for taking away your time. Please spread awarness, beacuse Kalvin's platform os so much bigger than this post could ever be that this is the only ask for help I could ask for you.
edit: I forgot to say, for the smallest hope this would reach Kalvin, I don't want any KalvinIsOverParty, I don't want anyone to send any harrasment or anything of that sort to him, all I want is that he would use him platform to say the truth about the situation of Asexuals and the sex-ual violence we are facing, all I want is awarness. I don't want "Kalvin is over party" all I wish that this would reach him for the small chance of "Kalvin please say sorry party".
And I want to say Thank you so much for being a community that cares for everyone 💗
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2020.06.08 09:42 joedinkle [GB] - S50 Update - All items shipped!
I'm happy to report kits started shipping 2 days early (6 June) and all fully paid invoices have tracking information as of today. If you haven't received a tracking number from Paypal or directly from me via gmail, please let me know. Frinedly reminder that even though items are being shipped by USPS, they are all coming from Japan.
A few stats:
Total kits sold: 45(14 black and 31 white)
Group buy start to first package shipped: 25 days
Group buy start to last package shipped: 27 days
Days to ship past the original shipping estimate: 0 days
Case files, build guide, and firmware are all available on Github
Stay up to date by following the S50 channel on the 40s Discord
A handful of extras and prototypes are available for the next week. I'm putting my belongings into boxes next week for an upcoming move, so let me know soon if you're interested.
Hopefully your builds will go as smoothly as the group buy process. I'm interested to get feedback once you get these in your hands. Can't wait to see the finished results!
submitted by joedinkle
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2020.05.20 16:35 Wolfie_Zodiac Discord creep makes my anxiety skyrocket! Even my friends were scared for me.
Warning this has slight swearing and a brief mention of suicide.
- Characters - Me : Wolfie / Creep : Carly (part of their user) / Irl Friend 1 (also my ex, but we chill) : North / Irl Friend 2 : Chris / Amino Friend : Star
(Note : anything between the big white circles (●) is an out of story bit from my pov)
Alright so this story actually takes place very recently. Actually happend today, May 19 (probably May 20 now because I'm posting this really late.) Do, the story starts at 9:39 p.m. on a discord server I'm in. I had posted a pic of my PonyTown character in the chat (ps. I'm 13 and I only started playing the game to meet a GachaTuber who I enjoy watching who was playing the game at the time) and was talking to others for a short while. I then left and came back when I got a random message from someone at 9:42pm. Then the conversation proceeds as follows.
Carly : What did you eat for breakfast today?
Me : ? I had cereal
Carly : Intriguing
Me : How
Carly : ʘ‿ʘ
Me : ?..
Carly : AHAHAHHA a little bit of JUST MONIKA in my life
Me : What... 0-0 Umm, do I know you?..
Carly : Nope
Me : How did you find my discord?
Carly : I randomly dm'ed you
Me : I can tell, but where did you find my profile?
Carly : On which server? Redacted (I'm not giving the name for obvious reasons)
Me : Oh
Carly : Goooooooood morning
Me : ... it's 9pm 10pm now.
Carly : Exactly
Me : ..
Carly : (ʘ‿ʘ)
Me : It's not morning... it's the middle of the night
Carly : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I know ʘ‿ʘ
● Now this is where I started letting Carly know that they're starting to freak me out. ●
Me : Ummm... I don't wanna sound rude, but the haha thing is kinda freaking me out...
● This is where my anxiety started to kick in and red flags started going off in my head. ●
Carly : is it.... (ʘ‿ʘ) I like the sky Except
Me : Yeah... it just comes out of nowhere..
Carly : The sky is fake HAHAHAHAHAHHAH
Me : Ummm..
Carly : HA ha Hah
Me : Ok, now you're kinda starting to freak me out...
Carly : Never be scared Death is a. Escape from this simulated reality A way to see the trruth Don't be scared there's nothing to be scared of
Me : U sure about the never be scared part? I'm starting to get a little terrified, because that kinda got pretty dark...
Carly : Life is a simulation We have no free will
Me : ...
Carly : Everything is planned SO DON'T BE SCARED
Me : .-.
Carly : Help the sun be revealed IT'S OK
Me : •-• ur seriously freaking me out now... this is getting a little weird...
Carly : £𝘛𝘙𝘜𝘔𝘗𝘌𝘛_
Me : What...
Carly : Goodbye Don't fear death
Me : ...
Carly : I hope you sleep well Now that you know you SHOULDENT WORRY it's okay to die
Me : I literally can't sleep at all now...
● Now I already said several times that they were literally scaring the living shit outta me, the next thing Carly said, made me fear for my own life! ●
Carly : Don't worry Tonight you escape
● I was so fucking scared! I didn't know if this person was around my house, or what they were planning to do to me. At this point I was starting to get a little tiggered, because since they had mentioned death before, I thought that "escape" was some type of reference to death. Then I said the following. ●
Me : I've dealt with certain types of dark thoughts, and I've tried to end it before, so telling me not to fear death is kinda triggering, and I've asked you to stop several times. I'm 13 and this is starting to freak me the fuck out...
● After that, Carly stopped messaging. Happy ending? Not yet... I then went on a group chat I had with some of my friends on Instagram and the conversation goes as follows. ●
Me : Yo, anyone down to watch some movies or anything? I'm literally fucking terrified at can't sleep for shit..
Chris : what movie did u watch that made u scared
Me : I didn't watch a movie! I want to watch one to get my mind off of the creepy shit that just went down on discord
Chris : oh
Me : Some person found my profile on the Redacted server, and they scared the ever living shit outta me
Me : I got the screen shots too, just incase they do more weird shit and try to edit everything
● I then proceed to send ALL 9 OF THE SCREEN SHOTS of the conversation between Me and Carly in the group chat. ●
Me : Idk if this person is borderline crazy or they just wanted to fuck with me and scare me as a joke, but literally terrified af
Chris : yo wtf did i justread
Chris : fucking block them
North : Ummm u should sleep with a weapon tonight
Chris : yea find l a sword
Me : I'll wait till they do more shit, so I have a lot of proof incase they edit things, and I don't even think I'll be able to sleep at all
Chris : block them when ur done tho dis shit startin to scare me
North : Same
● Now when I found out they were scared of Carly as well, it made my anxiety skyrocket even more! Because they are chill af and nothing usually scares them. ●
Me : I will, be lucky this wasn't you though, my anxiety is going through the fucking roof
● North then proceeds to send some funny memes to try to calm me down. It didn't do much but it helped at little. Now on this one amino I'm in I have this girl that I met in 2018, and we've been really close. She's the one I'd usually go to when I needed advice on how to handle a situation or cope with things in my life. She was even there for me during the 8 month period where I was balling my eyes out after North had broke up with me after our 2 week relationship, as I was head over heels for him at the time. Yes, I know 8 months is a bit overboard, but he was my first bf and I didn't know how to handle love and how to cope with the breakup at that time. But now we're chill since he's dating my bestie again. Anyways, here's the conversation. ●
Me : Star, idk if you'll have time to read this, but my anxiety is going through the roof right now! Some person messaged me on discord and has scared the hell outta me! I even showed the screen shots to my irl friends on insta and the guys who usually aren't scared of anything are actually scared as well. If you want I can send you the pics
Me : I'm legit panicking and can't sleep
Star : @[email protected]
are you okay?
Me : Nooo
Star : explain
Me : I'm terrified and my anxiety is going haywire
Me : I'll send the screen shots
Star : okay
●Sends her all 9 screen shots ●
Me : This person has me legit scared for my life!! And my anxiety is trying to kill me
Me : I even sent this to some frineds irl on insta and even they are scared
Star : Their trolling you should have left when they said they were a "Monika in real life" They purposely got someone from a public server to stalk to scare you Just block them and stop messenging them. Warn others about this creep and try to move on or they'll continue
Me : I'm gonna try to get more screen shots though, just so that when I do report them hopefully the mods on discord don't think I'm overreacting. But this person literally went on even after I told them they were freaking me out
Star : Report them before someone else falls victim to this and actually believe their bs
Me : I will, but not yet. I am gonna make call out posts and warn people on all the aminos and discord servers I'm in
Me : So I can warn people
Star : way to go That's pretty much the end of the story. I actually looked back at the convo and Carly deleted all their messages, so most likely they were afraid that I might expose them. Since they deleted everyting, I'm not going to give them any mercy, if they try to run from this. Thier user is CarlyCat13#8416 So if anyone ever gets a message frim this user check the numbers, if they match, BLOCK THEM!! Please! And report them as well. Their profile pic is Natsuki from DDLC (Doki Doki Literature Club)
Anyways, I kinda blacked out while writing this around 1 am. So this story will be posted on May 20th. And my anxiety has clamed down since I've woke up. And I have already blocked them. So yeah, also please don't send them hate, just report them if they do anything creepy like this to you if they ever find your profile. And take screenshots as proof. Thank you for reading and have a good day/night and stay safe! ♡
submitted by Wolfie_Zodiac
to FanStorytime [link] [comments]
2020.03.12 16:50 happy_chameleon Im stuck
Hi, so this might be long but here we go:
So I really liked this guy (he will be Dave) in my class for quite a long time (7th grade, Im in 9th by now). I talked about him a lot (LIKE A LOT) and kinda tried to hang out with him (Im not quite good at that). He is quite tall, skinny and cute (like a puppy, so right) and thats kinda my type. Around november i stated to talk about him more (to my friends), but i usually mentioned that I would not date him. He is very very childish, so that wouldnt have worked out (he didnt like me anyways, so thats a reason too). I have a friend (lets call her Mary) and we have been friends since 7th grade so she knows about my things. However, we have drifted apart (she has changed a lot, so did i, but she has become egoistic, very manipulative and selfish), so I dont tell her everything anymore- just the surface. In december she told me that she likes Dave too. Ofc i was a little shocked, but i didnt mind, beause i didnt want to date him (she didnt know that). My sister knew abou Dave too and got a hold of his phone number (she looked it up in my phone whn i was busy), and started chatting. Skipping forward (nothing happened, except Mary non-stop trying to get his attention) to january (or end of december) I was planning on a date with a pretty cute girl, but i had to take my sister too (i dont remember why, but she had to come) so i told her to bring her bf. Everything was set, but th girl turned out to be a nightmare and i quickly cancelled that, but my sister already had plans. She didnt know about the girl, so figured that Im a lonely loser and invited Dave in my name. Obviously if iknew about this, i would have freaked out, but i didnt. Dave cancelled ofc (thank god). The next monday Mary greets me with a kinda weird/attacking "Why didnt you tell me you asked dave out?????" so obviously i went "what r u tallking about" and she kinda explained it, but it was sketchy. I kinda snitched my sisters phone a few days later, read the convo and than replied with a long explanation and apologised. I blocked / deleted Daves contact after that (idk if he replied). So everything went fine except dave and i not having the kinda nice friendship but ok. I still asked Mary a lot of questions about when did she get to know that and from who. Fisrt she said : I cant remember, maybe a girl told me on the night before. Than: We went iceskating with dave and his frineds (also f ing classmtes) and someone told me there, but i dont know who (8 ppl) and what i said.
If you cant smell the bs than theres clearly a problem. She remembers everything all time. At this point im still worried about what she told them (she seems nice but her words have an impact).
Fast forward to yesterday when i got to know that on that ice skating they were actully talking about me and saying things like "Nice attempt, but she is pretty pathetic". So Im kinda stuck and have no iea what to do. Im ery angry with Mary and with that friend group.
And the other thing is that i recently started to really like another guy in my class ( i kinda want to date him. no, he probaby hates my guts) and he is not in that group, but im scared to even talk to him right now.
Im kinda unable to do anything, bacuase noone asked me or anyone who im close with about this situation, just Mary who knows literally nothing and her friends who also know nothing.
So what should i do with this whole situation? It was month ago, but im really hurt.
Thank you if you have read this i kinda wanted to get this off of my chest
have a lovely day :)
PS: Im 15/female/little gothic and kinda hyper aktive/maybe too emotional sometimes
Tldr: had a crush on a guy (who I didnt want to date), my "best friend" develops crush on him too . My sister tries to organize a date for me(without me knowing) and him but he cancels. People go ice skating and talk about how pathetic I am. I apologize and block him on sisters phone. "Best frined" keeps lying. I have a crush on another guy that I want to date, but I dont know if I should do anything. I just got to know the ice skating part and I'm mad.
submitted by happy_chameleon
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2020.02.16 14:09 AliveGREENFOX I'm(22M), my friend(22M) knew about my feelings toward my crush(23F) and started dating her just two weeks after being rejected by his half a year crush.
So Ive have liked this girl (lets call her S) for a long time, she's a year older than me, she finished college and was busy with work, while I was worrying with my thesis and internship, so I didn't have much time to go out.
My friend (lets call him A) ended a one and a half year relationship on may, but in august said he liked this other girl (lets call her D). Since august he went from barely talking to her to being really good friends, but never go out until december when we finished our thesis, during this time he would always talk how she was perfect, the girl of her dreams and how he really liked her, I then would talk to him about S, how funny she was and how nuch I liked her.
Because of college ending he started going out with her and her friends, to the movies and restaurants, meanwhile I was going out with S and some friends, we went to bars, restaurants her house and many things, I was feeling really good and was thinking of asking her out after our graduation party.
At this time my friend confessed to his crush, but she rejected him, since she felt he was a great friend but only that. One week later was our party S was there, we danced and had a great time. Some days later my friend calls me, he invites me for lunch, everything normal, but then he drops the bomb and tells me that S called him and said she liked him, I asked him if he liked S and said that he didn't but since she did he would start dating her, now this really made me angry but I tried to control myself, he then went on saying how unlucky he was when it came to love, how that type of oprtunity only comes very few times in life and since it was an oportunity he would take it, he then started saying how I was good looking, smart, funny and how it wouldn't take long for me to find someone, that if the places were inverted he would allow me to date his crush and so on, I just told him to do watever he feel like and left.
When I told my friends they all said that he was just taking adventage of S and how he played me, trying to make himself a victim. After that I found out that they went to the movies on Valentines, so it seems he's really going to start dating her.
All this bothered me a lot, since he never liked S, and because of this and D rejecting him it just feels like him trying to fill a space. This actally hapened before, when he started dating his last gf, (who still had a boyfriend at the time and happened to also be friends with A) after another girl rejected him.
So should I tell S about his past relationship and how it seems he's just using her?,Ii feel he's really being a dick, I know she doesn't like me and that she may consider me only a good friend, but he always knew about my feelings toward S, and while she likes him it just feels so scumy the way he is behaving saying that a real frined wouldn't mind letting him date her and how he still thinks he shoud just take the oportunity because it presented itself.
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2020.02.11 04:17 Dimeolas7 Dictation software?
I'm looking for a good software so my dad (93) can tell stories and it saves it either to text or just records. Preferable would be voice to text. he has lived a colorful life and my brother and I wish to save the tales. Would like for him to just be able to talk at his own pace, have it put into text and we can save the text file touse later. he has Parkinsons so his voice varies at times. he also gets weak when he talks and loses his voice so .....we plan to save these and work on them at a later date.
He also has several frineds with good stories, all of them with lifetimes in aviation.
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2020.02.07 02:17 RoamingKid AM I THE ASSHOLE?? IS LOVE EVEN REAL?? Where do you meet friends that actually want to help you and not tear you down??
My whole life I've been the victim of bullies, and an outcast/recluse, and I feel like eventually you have to look yourself in the mirror and wonder am I the piece of shit if i keep smelling shit everywhere I go.
I cant stand people! Apart from the anxiety social situations give me, I come across a very charming on the surface but I dont let people close/ find a way to undermine every relationship. I cant stand people. I cant stand the idea of working for other people, and answering to society and higher ups. We are all people, who the fuck decided there should be a hierarchy to life. I cant stand normal human tendencies. I hate so many things.
The thought of working for people kills me. The thought of paying a mortgage till I die, kills me. Stupid people, fat people, attractive people, ugly people, social media, the infatuation with celebrities, and just everything about the society we have built. I hate it all!
I have no close friends even though by the numbers on my social media you'd think I was the worlds most popular guy. I have a problem with everyone and they all seem to have a problem with me. or at least I cant stand people when i get to know anything about them. You can imagine my dating life is in the shitter too. I can stand taking these girls out when im left footing the bill and listening to their stupid whiney stories about shit that doesnt matter, knowing theyre only going out with me for my earning potential, or what being with me would communicate about them to the world. IS there sucha thing as real love?
where are these good people everyone talks about? ive met so many fake, slimey, self serving pieces of shit, i dont know what to do. Am i to just live alone? The person I once considered my best friend fell to the way side. The girl i once loved fucked someone that bullied me. I dont understand. Ive seen people get married only to have half their shit taken in the divorce by the woman. we've also heard teh stories of men coming home one day and killing the whole family, or having a mistress. Frineds back stabbing friends.
I must be out of my mind right? Theres no way everyone is the asshole. I must be doing something wrong. At present I feel like everyone is waiting for me to fail, perhaps even my siblings.
I just dont get it...
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2020.01.02 17:10 GamerOnAQuest Insecurities and self sabotage
Started dating a guy a few weeks ago. He spontaneously showed up at my place on NYE after canceling some parties he planned with friends.. and he just left (Jan 2nd at 2pm).
I'm 29 and he's 23, first time for me to date someone younger. He met my friends, who all approve of him, and he let me know he likes my frineds. He's sweet to me. Saying nice things like 'I really like you' since bigger words would be too early. He's even given me different nicknames already.
Yet the moment he left the house the loop started in my head. 'does he actually like me? ', 'does he think I'm weird?', 'am I just a toy for a moment?'
What can I do to combad these type of thoughts?
TL;DR: someone can tell me a thousand sweet things, the moment they leave I get negative and insecure thought. How to get rid of these?
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2019.10.29 00:56 373569 I lead guys on to reject them in the end
I (F) would'nt say I have a lot of long term friends, but some 'phase friends' mostly with guys (this is important) and I love (and I mean love) affection from guys even if I don't have a crush on them. I become friends with guys and (I guess you could say) mainipulate them into liking me. Not sure if thats the right word. Basiclly I meet a guy, make a persona that they'd like, get to know them ofr a couple weeks and just make them obsess over me. I don't ever actually go out on dates and I pretend to be stupid unless they stright out say 'I like you, wanna date' etc. I know this is a bad move but it's so much fun seeing how far I can push a guy. It starts by high fives (dumb I know) and so whenever I see one of my male frineds (MF) I'll high five them. Slowly making them expect it, then I'll have them walk to me to high five me instead of me walking to them, lot's of little things like that until they're texting me every hour and revolve around me then MF's usually either go for the long run or ask me out, in which I'll deny of course. Obviously I'm looking to be hated on it's just something I need to acknowledge and get off my chest. If you wanna comment how terrible I am, dont bother I already know. I don't know why I do this, it just happens and snowballs and I can't really get out. Thanks for reading
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2019.10.16 01:24 sniff_pussy guys i got a gf
i was told i had to give her money and she qould go on a date with me so i accepted and then after i felt so good i shit mysekf when i got home it was amazing😍😍 but weirdly when i told herbi wanna go on another date she said no im with someone (whatever that means) which i think meant with her frined ir what ever when she went into the bathroom i decided to follow her in there and when i didi asked if she wanted to dated but she freaked then fuck out like the penis she is so i decided im done and broke into her house and at the middle of the night asked her out but she screamed so i booked it and here i am rn hidibg in her bushes. how do i get out of this situation
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2019.10.01 13:18 ThatAdobeGuy I wrote something for a friend to read. I wanted to also share it because no one on Reddit knows who I am
Hey! Congrats! If you are reading this then you’ve been sent this document because Tim thinks you’re an honest to god good person and friend and wants you to know that they (Tim) found it necessary to share something that should help you understand why he is the way he is. (Don’t worry, its only three pages long.)
There’s an actual tldr at the VERY bottom.
(This is basically internal dialogue turned into something readable.)
Hi, my name's Tim and my life........it's kinda crazy, here's how it goes down.
When it's 5am and you need to sleep because you have work at 7am but instead you've wasted the last 4 hours watching Anime, Pointless Youtube videos, and Netflix so you set a million alarms and get a pot of coffee ready because it will probably still be warm by the time you get to drink it. Not to mention having a shower before you go to bed because yeah, you're gonna be sleeping but you're not sleeping you're just napping for an hour so it's really the same thing as showering when you wake up. You make breakfast now because having an hour nap will make you 1,000,000 times more tired than you already are but you still need to sleep so you don't fall asleep at your desk. You drink a shot of lemon juice when you wake up because you read somewhere that lemon juice wakes you up and produces serotonin, but you're not entirely sure of the authenticity of this claim, so you also take a bite of an apple and realize you don't like apples so instead you throw it in the compost bin so your garden will have food to like eat and stuff. But now...........you're feeling bad for wasting food so you make a mental note to donate a dollar to the next cashier that asks this way you have a sense of helping others who are in need. Only issue now is that all the ego you got from donating a dollar is going to your head and making you feel like you're above others so now you're EXTRA aware of what other think of you so you KNOW if you're being a stuck up snobby rich Eboy. Low key tho you feel kinda shitty all the time because you just got cheated on and ended a three year relationship and you kinda wanna throw hands with the guy who slept with yo mans. I guess Ex mans now, Either way tho its a no brainer that it was a toxic relationship and you should be glad you got out of it. Girl, you need NOT worry about assholes who play with your heart. You is precious and deserve the best in life. No cap tho, you kinda depressed and having serious mental issues but the therapist booking is so backed up with Karren's that you gotta wait like three whole months just to tell someone you're high key not okay. It's okay tho because you're devoting all your spare time to friends and people you could truly call besties, like fuck, chad, thats a no brainer, clown. Because like, friends are the best things in the world right, you could be sittin in your garden balling your eyes out and your bestie comes over and give ya a real good pep talk so now you’re fuckin ready to get back at er and have a good time. I guess what im trying to say here is that when life gets done and dicks ya down, count on friends right. They are the difference between wanting to low key hurt yourself and wanting to high key go bowling with em. That reminds me of a pretty good time, low key it was pretty bad. Sometime in 2019 this guy named Tim was having a bunch of stress pilled on him so his brain decided to have a bit of a fit and start doing a depresso espresso, Tims brain also decided to stop realizing what reality is at any given time. Real fun stuff right, these were called something like dissociating and boi let me tell you, that was not fun. It’s kinda strange how im writing about this in a sudo third person AND in past tense when i’m here writing all this because im trying to tell someone about why my brain is doing what it’s doing. And i guess TBH I don’t understand why my brain decided it doesn't want to exist at points in time but i guess thats just for me to figure out at a later date am i rite. I guess if i were to sum this all up i could say:
Don’t stay up past your bedtime and open a word document at 5AM when you can’t sleep and start writing why you’re all stressy and depressy. But also low key because you don’t know how to ask for help when all you can think about is why you weren't good enough for someone so they went behind your back and slept with another guy. I mean c’mon chad, this whole relationship thing is all about trust, respect, and sex. You went and violated all three, this is not a oh baby a triple moment, this is a please respectfully leave my place of residence forever, sausage thief. Despite all this you’re actually kinda Zen with the whole thing because you know the planet is going to be dead in like twenty years anyways because no one is doing anything substantial about climate change and high key we all gonna starve or dehydrate to death. That’s all right tho because you’ve done everything you can in your life, visited different countries, continents, cities and other things like making great friends, mostly online tho because you high key don’t leave the house unless it’s for work. However you did just do a job interview that could lead to uber possibilities, kinda stuff like getting a work visa so you can move to california so you can high key live in a different place but also low key visit your friends who you’ve told aren't your only friends but kinda are. No cap, you’d seriously be lost without them because they are the only people you talk to that aren't from work. You could totally sum this up by saying something like: Hey! You have frineds now, do what you can to keep them around because you low key tend to fuck things up with new people because you don’t understand how to convey emotion well, and you’re kinda trash at small talk so people think you’re super awkward and tend to avoid you. Let’s Not forget the fact that some people avoid you because you’re a soft boy and thats kinda frowned upon by the majority of heteros. But it’s okay tho because these people you know right now, these amazing friends are like High key super supportive and genuinely enjoy your company. To be fair that’s what i think and I hope they think the same way and i’m not being lead on to seem liked by a friend group but to be bashed behind my back again, because, 2018 was not a good year for that. I can’t even tell you how many times i had cried because i lost what i thought were friends but turned out to be people who just used me.
High key tho, why i wrote this at 5AM.
I’m really bad at conveying emotion, and I needed a way to explain my internal dialogue, or write it down. I Basically sat here for 30 minutes and typed out everything that came to mind, the words, the attitude, the mood. That’s why some parts seem high key “Gen Z” and others seem low key depressed af. Whats also to be noted is the words i used, when i used words like high key, no cap, karen, i use these in a way that shows positive intent on a bad situation. Theres also the whole thing about thinking people are abandoning you, i wont say this is because i have BPD (Borderline personality Disorder) because i’m not diagnosed, but I do tick more than ¾ of the boxes that are used to diagnose it. What im trying to say is, I get this whole “hey, they haven't talked to you in a while so they must be leaving you forever, haha loser, you're not worth someone's time”. I know this isnt the case most of the time but my brain still goes into depresso espresso mode when i think this way. I wish I could turn that way of thinking off but it really doesn't happen. It kinda looks like thats the way with mental illness, can’t just, BOOP turn it off. OH MAN, DO NOT even get me started on being hyper aware about me asking for favours or asking anything of anyone really, even just time spent reading texts. Hell, even this is risky, I feel like I shouldn't send something so long because it’s asking too much of them to read it all. I really don’t want to seem greedy or needy, or anything bad, i just want to be seen as someone who is there for a friend when they need it. I high key and no cap DO NOT like asking people for help for ANYTHING. Something even bigger than the rest is asking for someone to be there when i’m having a hard time and need someone to talk to. I could be crying in bed, sobbing my eyes out, have a message written out and NOT send it because I don’t want them to think the only thing i’m doing is asking for attention. TBH, that was hard to write because I don’t often put what i think into words. This is sort of zen tho, because i’m not even sure i’ll be sending this to anyone. I wrote the whole thing out of order, i wrote some of the TLDRs before the title, this paragraph at the end, the title before this, the note at the top after the title. And now im realizing how confusing this whole thing is probably going to be. I’m writing all this out with no clear order. I could go through and edit it, but at the same time i want it to be fully as it was in my head. So i’m going to stop writing now. Hopefully you take the time to read this, I really do Value you as a friend.
The meaning behind this: I’ve been used before, I've been straight face lied to, and i’ve been belittled by people I considered friends. I just don't want that to happen again. For real tho, i'll make a proper tldr at the bottom.
TL;DR: I enjoy the friendship we have and the friends you’ve helped me create. I felt a need to tell you what’s going through my head because I think for some reason it’s something you should know. I’m doing my best to be the best person and friend I can be and I think to do that I need to be fully honest about my mental state. I’m not doing that well, i’m very depressed when i’m alone and that’s why i’m almost always talking with people in discord or whatever game i’m playing. I really don’t want to bother people about the issues I have because I feel like i’m always asking and never the one answering. Which in my mind is also the same as always taking and never giving. I’ve been typing for forty minutes now and need to get a nap in before work. An actual real, no cap TLDR is next.
TLDR: I really enjoy the friendship we have, my mental health isn't great, I try to be the best I can, I don’t want to lose you as a friend, I have a hard time explaining what’s going through my head at any given time, i’m bad at small talk and I have a really difficult time conveying any feelings I might have, good or bad.
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2019.09.10 22:35 sloan_fitch I guess this is what you could call recovery..
Hey bro, when do you want to meet up?
That was the sentiment of the initial exchange; meeting my older sibling to converse... to talk about scifi books and movies, perhaps. It was relatively early in my addiction. By this point I was using Heroin and Oxy interchangeably. I had yet to form a preference for reasons other than price and availability. As we got closer to the date it occured to me something seemed off, there was an ulterior motive or more accurately, a different primary motive than my own. The night before, I stayed up until around 5am. This was one of those times where I didn't get at 10-bag bundle. Instead, the bun was poured into three bags that were more filled-up.
I tried taking the equivalent of little key-hits to wind-down and chillax in my kitchen but naturally didn't leave myself with a whole lot for the morning. This was probably one of those fent-dope mix batches since it was more white, tasted a more sharply and seemed to be "in and out" faster. By morning, around 11am or noon, I had begun getting ready. I think I had enough to take a post-wakeup hit and another before my brother arrived. His wife drove and dropped us off at a local diner then proceeded to go shoe shopping.
This was not a fucking get-together for fun as I originally thought. Had I known, I would have re-scheduled it a third time prior. At the time I'm working my current retail for about two years. Maybe a bit longer... three? Probably 2.5 years tops. Anyway, I ordered some waffles... it felt safe because I felt the dope wearing off. Still was sufficiently fine to talk and be out of the house but I do wonder how this would have went if I had the benefit of a higher dosage that day. Would I have shown signs of being suspicious? Perhaps it was better to appear as though I was tired. The topic of discussion... he basically went straight to it.
Do you know why I wanted to meet today? That type of opener... Before going further, I'd like to describe the day.
It was one of those days with grey skies and a near-perpetual on and off drizzle. The diner being what it was had us seated at booth by a large window near a fairly busy thoroughfare and it's intersection with another. The waitress was a middle-aged middle-eastern or Mexican woman (can't remember) and she wore very shiny and possibly opaque flesh colored stockings -- couldn't really tell. Sometimes they're designed to match one's flesh tone and the sheen was one of those things that briefly caught my eye until it didn't. Perhaps my thought process was, "boots and a shine.....[then].. heh."
I mention the waitress, in her black uniform skirt with white blouse and black vest because she was earning her living. Did she seem weird? Everything seemed weird that day..... it was most likely a perceptual thing that was amplified by the grey skies. We'll revisit her in a moment -- I see her as a sort of "everyman" (suffix of woman means the term is applicable IMO).
My brother explains that we are gathered here today (no, he did not say it like that) to talk about my career prospects. More specifically, where I am at right then and what road I am planning to go down if any. I've maintained a mystique over the years, probably more so now that I was using oxy and ope. ::Flashback::
Years earlier, my brother was friends with one of my friends. They played guitar together which was cool and fine. One night I had plans to smoke with my friend and another friend. My friend was like "let's get your brother to hang out" and I was like "bro c'mon" and he was "like, it'll be cool."* We'll call my frined the fat-cat, and my brother the brother. So Fat-Cat insisted it would be cool.. and shit... I couldn't change his mind so as a result, there we were. A typical Friday or Saturday night where we decide to smoke a blunt, joint or bowl at some random outdoor location. Not always random, but this time it was because I certainly would not have chosen the street corner in front of a residential home even if here was a bush there. No trouble came of being at that location but still.... my brother smoked with us.. coughed up a lung, presumably got high and then we all went to sleep by 3am, I presume.* The Next morning
I arrive at the kitchen table to eat breakfast, with my father, mother and brother all present. Well, shit... I wish I had spoken to my brother before he got down to the kitchen. Don't know if it would've helped but this is not a case of Monday morning quarterback. Had I know what he had in mind, I could've seen the hazard form miles away... nothing too hazardous, but still inconvenient. End of Flashback
As it turned out, before I had gotten downstairs my brother already had spilled the beans. Did he rat me out? Not exactly although I basically saw it that way. He basically told my parents, conversationally... that we smoked the night before. :::Retrospective Facepalm::: My dad on his own would've been cool about it; my mom on the other hand.... these things can go either way. I was still 17-18 years old so my mom's tolerance for me consuming weed was still nearly non-existent.
So of course, one of my first reactions were towards my brother... "Why the hell would....?" I fogrot if I saked "why the hell would you tell them..." or if it was "why the hell would you mention this topic". **His answer was, something along teh lines of "are you saying you would lie to our parents?" That or "are you saying that I should have lied to our parents?" Basically he was working off of the premise that he could be open and honest about all things... and hey look, if itw as just him and my friend, that would be fine. However, I also a participant... my mom was bitchy towards me but epxresed she mad at my brother for "being there" or something like that.
At some other point, maybe that morning.. maybe another day during dinner my brother bought up the fact that he saw two of my friends "smoking a bad rolled cigar in a truck." I'm just like "I wouldn't know..." or "I don't know about that..." but really in my head I'm like "DUDE, SHUT THE FUCK UP -- guilt by association, I'm trying to avoid it."
Ever since then, I've made sure to play things close to the chest. If I didn't want my parents to know, then I made sure that my brother didn't know. I had to get secretive over relatively minor shit (pot) so I became well-equipped years later to lie about my addiction. I was cautious to be pre-emptive as well.
What do I mean? For example, during lunch with my brother at the diner... which would be more accurately called a "pep talk" or nag session, I was careful about answering questions.
**The reason for this meeting was not to "catch-up" but to critique my present position on my career path, for my brother to figure out "what was wrong with me" or "what was holding me back" from doing more. He asked the tough quetions and said made the following points:
- Who are you hanging out with.. what do you do? At this point I was hanging out with Cliff a lot -- but there was no way in hell I was gonna use that answer.
- Are you shell-shocked from the call center job?
- When a prospective employer sees that you are in your early 30s and have been working retail for all these years... they tend to wonder "what is wrong with this person?" Essentially he was saying "you gotta double-time it now or else it'll be even harder to find a 'real' job."
- What would you do if father died tomorrow? More on this and related things later.
From there, he switched gears towards being solutions oriented, but I didn't like them and I just played along in agreement.
- You are not finishing school. Not an option (anymore) so forget it. I hated the defeatist tone of this, probably right and true but just the way he said this made me seriously consider going to school. I was so close to doing it a few months alter just by sheer desire to defy this fucking statement.
- You need to look forward to a three-hour commute. This was a pre-emptive response to the "I don't get responses to my job applications/submissions when applying in X or Y area." Now he's saying, "you gotta spread your net further, it's not impossible to commute to the neighboring state if you are willing to take six transfers." Ie: Bus, boat, train, different type of train and then bus. This was but one example of that three-hour commute.
- He was insisting that I apply for an Amazon Tech support employee job. Internal tech support -- like help desk for password resets and doing Factory Reset on 200+ android warehouse tablets every day and other menial shit. Actually woudln't mind the work itself.... I just didn't like the job posting. It said this shit about "must be willing to work 12-hours on your feet and willing to work overtime whenever we say." The concept of "mandatory overtime" makes me sick.
Now, if the 12-hour shift meant only working three days every week.. that would be fine, but this is Amazon we're talking about. There's no fucking way form what I've heard. The Glassdoor reviews did not improve my optimism.
- Then he went on about how there are no good jobs in our town.... it was sort of like a movie quote, like that movie where they say "get off the island". He basically said a similar one-liner multiple times after saying it for the first time.
It gave me the creeps. Like I was being told to proactively become Winson Smith or one of the more docile worker drones from 1984 and to just suck it up.
- He bought up property values of the home my father and I live in... spoke about the "forclosure rate" and was like "do you know what foreclosure is?" He was essentially eluding that I needed a real job because the house may not hold it's value or some bullshit...
When I finally got home from that, I slept... scored more dope the following day. The failed intervention didn't happen until a year and a half later when I lied and passed a piss test.
I eventually got off of short-acting opioids by my own volition because I couldn't handle the game. The waiting... the manipulation of my top middle, and the expected antics of my secondary middle. The fact that even my most reliable middle / good true friend was not immune. Although usually good, his reliability was sometimes questionable after one instance where he surprised.
The triumph of copping was eclipsed by his need to borrow one of my two bundles of dope. He explained that "all of the dope I just bought was for my bro who I owed so I have nothing for myself." He did drive and I knew he'd pay me back down to the micro-gram but had I known this ahead of time... I would not have been so excited about taking a ride with him right after work.
So yeah, at least myself and that last dude both got clean during the same week and both still are.
The point of this post... I forgot, I just kept rolling with it. Then I cut it in half. Then I shared some more refined detail.... **I just wanted to post something here because I haven't shown much love the netizens of this community in a while. So, umm... hi friends and even haters. I hope everyone is doing well in their own way.
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2019.08.05 08:02 lalalalovesucks Everyone says it will get better...
and it does! after an almost ten year relationship, I thought the pain would never end. I thought the desperation and hope would forever live. he broke up with me June17.I begged and cried and he said horrible shit to me while I was fighting for his love. it was brutal. only met him once after that. I gave him his stuff back and I played it real cool. we said wed try to stay frineds….
I cancelled the next time we planned to meet because I was lying to myself ...I didn't want to be friends. My intentions were to get him back and I needed to just cut him off. wrote him the email you can read in my first post...and started no contact.
week 1-2 : Absolute hell. lots of crying replaying beautiful memories listening to sad songs going through pictures and basically torturing myself. BUT best advice is be real with yourself, let yourself cry and take days off because this step is so crucial. repressing anything will delay moving on. I did pretend my days were fine even when hey weren't but it helped me stay sane. wave of intense emotions. happy sad angry calm hurt happy again...it was nuts
week 3-4 : tempted to text him every day. "can we just be good again babe" kinda texts but I had friends that would have murdered me and I would always text them first. Also he would interrupt my dreams every night and I have vivid realistic feeling dreams so my insomnia started and I wouldn't be able to sleep til 3am every night.
week 5-6: became proactive
made sure I had weekend plans every week. I made a bumble. I went out with friends and ate better worked out and the sad feelings started to occur less often.
Week 7/currently: I gave up all hope which was big. I started to understand the toxic traits of our relationship. I know I never want to go back to him. I feel like I am so strong for getting through this. I might not be ready to date yet but Im improving myself and taking responsibility for the bad shit I added to the relationship as well without blaming it all on myself like I did in the beginning. its a freeing feeling.
[And tbh I totally want a text from him one da saying he misses me and he fucked up. like a selfish ego thing but im not waiting on it just would be nice to know my love wasnt one sided. ]
EXTRA advice: go to therapy! DO NOT beg. Know your worth. there is a reason this didn't work out even if you felt like he/she was the one or the perfect match. you can love them and not be with them. It was meant to happen but not meant to be.
ALSO if the internet says it takes half the time of your relationship to get over it that's BS, everyone is different.
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2019.08.02 10:30 spasecofbojx I love my ex girlfriend, and i love her unconditionally.
I knew this girl since winter 2017, a friend of a friend. I only knew her online tough. At this time i was very lonely and immature. I liked her, she was cute, friendly and beautiful. We played a lot of games and i felt 1 sided love. All of a sudden i had realised i cant have her. Sometime later, in the beginning of january 2018 i had a huge argument with my 2 "best friends" . My problem i had at the tmie was, she was friends with them, so i involved her in the shit that was going on and blocked all 3 of them. I regretted blocking her for so freaking long.
April 2018 the cousin of 1 of my ex best friends asked me to play League of Legends, so i joined his Lobby and TeamSpeak channel and got confronted with my past. 1 of them was there, and i tried to sort things out. We got our shit together and were friends again. Ive seen a Green Name on the server and knew it was her, and immediately apologized to her and told her what a jerk i was. Everything went upwards from there on.
I got to know that they had a WhatsApp group at that time and i wanted to be part of it os i started being with them more frequent and i also got to know that they have met in reallife already. I missed this oppertunity coz ive been stubborn. They planed to meet at summer again so i took the oppertunity to be there with em, get my friendships back and stuff like that.
Fast forward to summer 2018, it was June i think. I Felt for another gir that was there to protect me falling for my old crush again, which caused lots of trouble. We had a sleepover where i felt in love with this other girl from Sunday till Monday, went shopping and into a park at Monday, Thurstay i hosted a BBQ at my place and yeah. We went swimming in my pool and i got to see those attractive women, and deeply talekd to my old crush.
Later she helped me getting over this other girl i didnt really love. She kinda had a crush on the cousin that got me back into this group, and honestly, i was confused about it.
a little bit more fast worward, she got together with him, and broke up the next day coz she reallized she didnt love him, and the way he imagined them to be together. She Comforted me when i needed her with the other girl, to get over it, while i was there for her. Later i developed another crush on her, which caused my circle of friends to fall apart. He found out and tought i was the reason she broke up, but the fun part is, ive been caring about him before when they broke up bec he was a good frined of mine. She found out aswell and everything in my life looked like it felt apart. I lost a good friend and the girl i love now knew.
I wanted to meet her again at gamescom and for a time i tought i cant. I dont want to feel 1 sided love again, so i decided not to. Well, we chatted a lot and she wanted to see me and overtmie we grew together. After the Gamescom i wanted to sleep there but couldnt, she turned down a boy that tried to pick on her 2 times while excluding me, which made me like her even more(its a funny sidestory, but doesnt fit in here i suppose) and yeah. Then at the end of August we called even more, and i told her that there is something and i didnt knew if it was love or not. That was a huge lie, i was in love... Sooo much.
soo, eventually she decided to come over ( i should have mentioned she lived like 2 solid ours trainride away (130 km with car)) which made me so happy. I had a hard time not askin her out before seing her in real life again, but i wanted to ask er out in person, so i did. I picked her up form the Main Station of a bigger city, next to mine, took the train to my main station, we went out of the train and waited for the bus and in that time i asked her out. I couldnt wait, i was so excited and in love, i could not believe, that she was finally mine. So we started dating at the 1st of September. The worst part is, her mom picked her up the next day, so i could only enjoy 1 day, but let me tell ya, it was so beautiful. I cried when she left me like a 10yrs old..
After that, we experienced lots of things, been together every weekend, and stuff. I got used to her, and loved being at her place. The love and the intimicy was amazing, and i wished that she had been my first ever girlfriend, coz she was the 1. We've spend holydays together, called every day, played video games and it was amazing. If we had problems we talked them trough every time. It was 100%perfect. But everything has an end. The first problems started when she ditched me for a friends birthday when she knew i was at her place and knowingly had a bad week.
A Best friend would invite her best friends friend if its long term and you know hes alone. I dont know, but she did not even try to put a fight to get me in there, and since then i started acting jealous, and i wish that i didnt. Soo much do i regret that.
The weekends were still beautiful but when i became jealous i couldnt take being ditched for her friends, and overreacted. Many times did we argue over stupid shit, sometimes she started senseless arguments 2. It wasnt perfect anymore but i was willing to work on the issues. Weve been on a Concert together, celebrated Christmas, and when she had birthday, i suprised her and made her cry (positive way). I was sure she was my wife for the future, and i know its naive to think that way but as the title says, unconditional love (well almost).
The problems with the arguing didnt stop, and she was trying to finish her "high school degree"(dont know how this degree is called in english so i compare it to this 1) and sure we grew apart. When we were on the prom, i knew it was over. We had an argument after that and decided to break up. I stayed that weekend and since then we grew apart. Not just as Relationship but as friends.
I loved being with her because she wasnt just my girlfried, but my best friend and so many influences destroyed this relationship. I love all the good memories, such as the concert with Alan Walker, a noname german band, christmas celebs and many more memories. I hate her best friend for guilt tripping her and she then defending him which didnt help my jealousy. (he guilt tripped her for not eating ice cream with him and ignored her for over 3 days)
I honestly still want her back, not doing some mistakes again. Grow stronger with her, help supporting her, and turn back when i have to. I love her, her body, her passion and soul. I miss her on my side. We broke up at the 30 of may, and since then im lovesick. Im doing good, but i had to write that down. I dont know if this is the right subreddit for this, since im actively using reddit for 2 days now, but hey, i can be honest here, and i wish i find more happiness soon
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2019.07.08 15:32 metallica11 Blown Away - being slow ghosted by someone who told me they loved me, falling in love
I am about to enter the ghosting club...well sort of.
I am completely blown away. I'm normally very good at vetting people out before opening up to them. I met a attractive, intelligent, talented girl 3 months ago. a few weeks after we had met, she mentioned how she is starting to fall for me, how she did not want out first date to end. we had a great time. sex 1-2 times everytime we met. hung out 2-3 times a week.
2 months later she drops the "I'm in love with you" bomb. We take a weekend trip. she introduces me to her PARENTS 2 weeks ago.
Then, last week, we went on another 7 day trip together (with a few of her friends - couples). it was fun at first - but she got more distant towards the end. and I gave her her space.
I left on an earlier flight since I had to go to work - while she leaves today. ever since she left, she has barely communicated. 1 text the morning I left, saying "thanks for coming....love you". then nothing for the rest of the day and the following next day until late at night where she told me how much she owes her frined.
Keep in mind, she usually texts 30-40 times a day - in the morning/ afternoon/etc about her day, etc.
am I being slow ghosted? should I be worried?
and if so, why the hell would you do that after telling someone you love them (as your last text)
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2019.06.17 01:15 MichaeI1995 Need help
So. Me and my girlfriend were livin wonderful life. All was good. Then, my girlfriend got attracted on one of our frined who is also dating. That friend doesn't know that does he like more his girlfriend or my girlfriend. My girlfriend doesn't know that does he more luke me ir our friend. We are going to meet (all of us) on 19th of June to solve this thing. What should I do? Any tips?
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2019.06.01 18:56 Boomboombaraboom On Roxy´s charater in the Epilogue.
I was working on a post about all the female characters in the Epilogue and why I think most got shafted to hell and back. The only exceptions are Terezi and Roxy, I don´t know if I should include the latter so I decide to make a post all of their own. I definetly have a lot to say about the subject and they honestly deserve it.
Just a note: I´m gonna separate Roxy in to Canon, Prologue, Candy and Meat variants. I´m gonna use they/their when refering to the character as a whole; he/him when refering to Roxy in Meat and she/her to all other instances since those are the pronouns they use in their respective part. I´m not gonna go into canonRoxy much, this is about the Epilogues after all.
So this Roxy only gets one chapter, but what a chapter it is. It´s the densest of the three chapters in the Prologue but also the longest so Hussie managed to cram quite a lot in there. First we get establised right away that Roxy is hard to read, it makes sense since she is a Void player. This is gonna be important because most of the insight we get from Roxy in the Epilogue does not directly come from them but from people like Terezi, John, Dirk and altCalliope; we get told about Roxy and the times we actually get their version they can be incredibly vague about it.
We don´t know much about what happened to Roxy in the seven years between Act 7 and the Epilogue, we get the general gist of it tough. It´s at least implied by John that she was waiting for him, she didn´t want to be pushy like with Dirk and waited patiently for John to make a move. Her relationship with Callie at this point is also quite vague. They are good friend but in Candy it´s implied Roxy is looking for something more that Callie can´t give her. It´s pretty much stated that Roxy came to this meeting with knowladge that John would have to choose and that would determine how their relationship develops from this point on. Tipsy was saying she knew he would die but I disagree.
Now, my take on the reaction by Roxy is that he just got rejected by the boy he likes. His reaction is like he was expecting for the flip of the coin to land him in the Candy timeline, that´s why he was disapointed, it was just not meant to happen. It´s possible that he knew John would end up with Terezi, that´s why he asked her where he was since he saw them together in visions. He knew that he would see John again but by that time John would be pretty solidly with Terezi.
Roxy quickly exist the scene so we don´t see him cry and goes to eat ice-ceam and cry it out a bit to get it out of his system. From this point on his arc is about gender discovery. It different to other trans stories I have read because Roxy is not part of a presecuted/highly-disrcriminated group in Earth-C so the story focus more on his own insecurities. There´s also the fact that most of his frineds will accept him instantly. So it´s good to know we get more insight on Roxy, but the arcs has a conflict that is just personal, and Roxy was already the most emotionally intelligent kid (not saying much, i know). So this reads more like reading gender theory 101, which can get tiresome if you are like me and follow transpeople and leftist on youtube. Which actually got me to like when Dirk called altCalliope a "pompous alien virgin monologuin about gender". Seriously, it read like she is a teenager that just dicovered tranpeople, it´s kinda adorable but it get annoying fast.
There´s also the fact that even in Meat 32, the moment when we get a bigger look at his tought is still more about Dave and Dirk than himself. I like meatRoxy, it´s one of the only characters I can say got some actual develpment, but I have to admit it´s lackluster on it´s own. But of course that´s not the last of Roxy, they are one of the only characters that Hussie got right in the splitting the timeline thing. If we combine the information of Candy and Meat we actually get a semi complete arc.
Roxy in Meat is in transition but this is the timeline the actual conflict with themselves gets brought up, even if it´s only at the end. candyRoxy couldn´t be happier that John is staying, the coin landed on her side and she gets to be with the man she loves. I initially doubted that Roxy even loved John (and I still have my doubts) instead using him as a way to not think about her gender dysphoria. But I think Roxy actually tought the power of love would be able to "fix" her. There´s still the issue of why can she be with Callie and John at the same time but atribute this to the Lalonde system.
Lalonde system (Lalsys) is something both Roxy or Rose do when facing emotional distress. They commit to someone and abandon themselves to be with this person. Rose used to be a writer, occult aficionado and a general rebel; but then her mother died and she had to attach herself to Kanaya instead of mourning like Dave and John did. Roxy starts in canon pretty down. She tries to get with Dirk, then with John and then with Callie. She used to be a hacker, a cool scientist and pretty good leadre. But both stripped themselves to just be love interests. The point is being for other and not being themselve because being themselves would be suffering.
So Roxy start dating John and it´s obvious to me that he doesn´t love her, at least at the beggining. The narration speaks of his emotions in a past tense, like they were there but no longer. He wonders if he actually love her and doesn´t know hoe it´s supposed to feel. Yet he feels this is his duty, to make her happy. John rejected his duty to fight LE and now looks for a pourpose. Jake and Dave have the same problem with their respective ladies, they think the own the ladies something even if it´s not true. But Roxy is not an idiot, she realizes that John is not interested that much in her and pushes the relation at break neck speed, some much that John just goes with the current.
For years Roxy (and Rose) tries to be the perfect wife. Both Roxy and Rose let their partner name their children and it´s pretty fucking stupid in both cases. But what separates Roxy form Rose it that in Rosemary both characters are blind to canon an try to immersed themselves in this world. Meanwhile John does not give a fuck about this world, he is opposed to Jane but doesnt joins the rebellion because he doesn´t give a fuck about the people they are fighting for. They don´t even have names or faces, why should he care?, why should we care?. He gives a half-asses excuse to Karkat and never thinks about it again. Roxy wanted to play to be the perfect family and hard to do that when your partner is not into it.
The divorce it´s the part that bothered me the most. It said Roxy went away, but it would have made more sense for John to initate it. Like slobPeter in Spiderverse, he is sabotaging his opportunities to be happy, such is his depression. He also didn´t try to contact them for years... which is stupid honestly. But after I saw it from the prespective of Lalsys it (mostly) makes sense. Roxy went to look for other companions to help her cope with herself, she went with Callie and Jane. That´s the only explination of why Roxy went to support such an obvious genocidal regime, she is desperate for connection and willing to overlook some pretty big red flags. Even at the end Roxy is unwiling to admit Jane went evil, she says she is just a person... that is gonna cause the death of millions, Not evil at all.
It´s no coincidence she left Jane just as John called her to talk for the first time in years. Roxy accepts it partly her fault their marriage went down, even if John is completly willing to accept the fault. One thing to keep in mind about heir final conversation is that: they were both wrong. Roxy tought John could help her with her identity without talking directly with him and expected him to be happy with a mundane life; and John couldn´t accept his life until enough conflict was on it for him to take it as real. It´s left in the air if they reconciliate, which they will do because there´s no one left really. I think Hussie had this idea of deconstructing their relationship and had a final goal in mind but couldn´t come with way to make it "organic", natural. So he just hammered it in.
Actually that may just describe my problems with the Epilogues. I actually like the end states of most character and I think that´s what Hussie was aiming at but lacked the ability to actually reach that state in a natural way. It´s something common among authors, they first imagine the endstate of characters and relationships so they get lazy and decide to focus on other thing, making those thing more interesting as a result.
Ther´s also the fact that Hussie is surprisingly petty when it comes to ships he doesn´t like. Like how he tought DaveJade, Grimdorks and Karezi were boring (he didn´t, but changed his mind afterwards just won´t admit it) so he separated the characters and had them not interact for the rest of the comic. Dude, a guy and a girl can be good friend without being in a romantic relationship; I have female friends I don´t think about fucking, and you? But he also wanted to disuade shippers which is a fools errand and the mark of a immature writer. But what it´s new?
After going over it again Roxy´arc is still one of the strongest in the Epilouge... which is faint praise. It´s vague, pretentious, needlesly melodramatic, lacks any external conflict and at the end Roxy came across a bit of an asshole in Candy. 6/10: I think Hussie tried but didn´t had the skill to pull it off.
Compare John and Terezi with a (very good and respectable) 8/10 and Dave and Dirk with a 7/10.
What do you think? I honesly want to know.
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